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Snake dining

Q: Why don’t snakes use silverware?

A: They already have forked tongues.

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Filet’O’Philistine

I only eat antibiotic free pork. Wouldn’t want to associate with any uncultured swine.

Executions

Q: Where do they report executions?

A: In the noose-paper.

Otis Redding

Sometimes I think Otis Redding just had trouble picking out laundry detergent.

Hippy Gangsters

Q: What do hippy gangsters say when they finish a job?

A: Let’s blow this joint.

Southern Accents

Q: Who won the prize for best southern accent?

A: Nobody. It was a drawl.

Play in Traffic

When Steve Winwood was a kid , his parents told him to go play in traffic.