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Car Troubles

I’ve had a flat tire every week for the past 4 weeks. It seems like I’ve had car trouble for the hole-in-tire month!

Nightmare Moon

If Princess Luna was a draft horse, she’d have had a total eclipse of the cart.

Tree Trimming

Tree trimmers do a fantastic job. I think they should take a bough.

Butcher

It was a contest of strength between the meat sellers. They wanted to find out which one was butcher!

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CultureInfo

CultureInfo culture = CultureInfo.CreateSpecificCulture("Club");
String.Format(",,,,,chameleon", culture.Name);
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Boat

If you’re selling a boat that needs a new mast, tree people could still use it as is by just holding up a bed sheet. It’s a boat for sail or Ent.

Who’s on IRC

On a FPS gaming community I knew a few people who chose the names “Who”. They were in widely different time zones so it became difficult to find them on chat without first asking. This is a beautiful paraphrase¬†of many of the conversations about this subject.
Spirit: So about what time do people log into #q2c?

X7: Let’s see. Well today Who’s on first.

Spirit: That’s what I want to find out.

X7: I say Who logs on first.

Spirit: Are you the admin?

X7: Yes.

Spirit: You monitor the IRC too?

X7: Yes.

Spirit: And you don’t know the fellows’ name?

X7: Well I should.

Spirit: Well then who logs on first?

X7: Yes.

Spirit: I mean the fellow’s name.

X7: Who.

Spirit: The guy on first.

X7: Who.

Spirit: The first connection!

X7: Who.

Spirit: The guy chatting…

X7: Who logs on first!

Spirit: I’m asking YOU who’s on first.

X7: That’s the man’s name.

Spirit: That’s who’s name?

X7: Yes.

Spirit: Well go ahead and tell me.

X7: That’s it.

Spirit: That’s who?

X7: Yes.

PAUSE

Spirit: Look, you gotta chatroom.

X7: Certainly.

Spirit: Who’s chatting first?

X7: That’s right.

Spirit: When you check the connection logs each month, who’s IP shows up first?

X7: Every octet of it.

Spirit: All I’m trying to find out is the fellow’s name on IRC.

X7: Who.

Spirit: The guy that gets…

X7: That’s it.

Spirit: Who’s IP logs on…

X7: He does, every time. Sometimes his wife logs on and chats.

Spirit: Whose wife?

X7: Yes.

PAUSE

X7: What’s wrong with that?

Spirit: Look, all I wanna know is when the chatter logs in, how does he sign in?

X7: Who.

Spirit: The guy.

X7: Who.

Spirit: How does he sign…

X7: That’s how he signs in.

Spirit: Who?

X7: Yes.

PAUSE

Spirit: All I’m trying to find out is what’s the guy’s name on IRC.

X7: No. What is on the forums.

Spirit: I’m not asking you who’s on the forums.

X7: Who’s on IRC.

Spirit: One protocol at a time!